Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Crazy enough to trust

About 6 months ago, I got this crazy idea to go to grad school at Dallas Theological Seminary. I say crazy because at the time it was just a distant dream - one that was too big to fathom. But, here I am registered for classes for my first semester. I still can't believe this is happening. It's still crazy.


Over the course of these past few months God has been teaching me a lot - everything from patience to humility to surrender. The biggest lesson has definitely been on trust, which goes hand in hand with surrender (my One Word Resolution for this year - more on that later).

Trusting God isn't something I'm good at. But, I'm not sure many people are. We tend to trust God for a little bit, then take matters into our own hands, and what do you know, we fail. We fail miserably. Yet, for some reason we do it all over again.

Take the Israelites for example. For a long time, I found the story of Moses freeing the Israelites from Egypt kind of weird. I mean, why would God send Moses to Egypt and then harden Pharaoh's heart? Ten times! Wouldn't it be much easier for God to soften Pharaoh's heart so that the Israelites could go free right away? Why the plagues? Why the back and forth charades? But, it seems like every time I read this story in the Bible, I missed the point.

God didn't harden Pharaoh's heart to teach him a lesson. God wasn't playing the role of a magician either. He wasn't displaying His power just for the fun of it. You see, while the Israelites were in slavery, they had become hopeless. They didn't see redemption on the horizon. And, they didn't know what it even meant to trust God. God was distant and silent, as far as they knew.

But the Israelites only saw their side of the story. They had no idea God was plotting their redemption all along. So, to teach His chosen people trust and total dependence in the desert, God had to prep them in Egypt. He displayed his omniscience and omnipotence so that their faith may be awakened and their trust renewed.
I've been watching the History channel Bible miniseries every
Sunday since it came out...  Definitely the inspiration for this blog post!

Imagine if this didn't happen. Imagine if Moses waltzed into Pharaoh's palace, shouted the famous "Let my people go!" and Pharaoh immediately melted in his presence, freeing the Israelites from their bondage. What would have been the reaction of the Israelites? Do you think they would have instantly developed trust in God?

The truth of the matter is that trust in God takes time. It is developed through trials, misunderstandings, pain, helplessness, confusion, and so much more. We know this is definitely true when we fast forward the story of Moses and the Israelites just a few chapters. We see that even all the miraculous wonders performed by God in Egypt were not enough to stifle the Israelites' grumbling against Him in the desert. They were not quick to learn. But the miracles sure helped. When the Israelites doubted God, they were able to look back and remember. It gave them a foundation for their trust in God.

This makes me think of my journey with God. When I look back on my life, I see how He has shown me His grace and mercy over and over again. I marvel at the way He used every experience in my life to bring me to the place I am in now. I look at where I am now and can't help but think of it as precise preparation for what is ahead.

God had a marvelous plan for the Israelites, even though they failed to see it. God has a marvelous plan for me, and I pray that I may see it. See it, not with physical eyes, but see it with my heart. See it by trusting God completely - fully confident that He is slowly leading me into the Promised Land. Now, that's crazy!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

His Heart Trusts in Her

I came across a beautiful article this morning that I decided to share with all of you. It's from the March edition of Tabletalk Magazine, a ministry of R.C. Sproul. Read it here.

I've read a lot about the perfect Proverbs 31 woman. The woman who does it all and still manages to dress herself and her family in brilliant purple and scarlet. Men love her. Women want to be her.

But like many other women I've talked to, I've wondered, "How does she do it? Where does she find the time?" Some people claim that the Proverbs 31 woman is the "ideal" woman and not the realistic woman. They say being a Proverbs 31 woman is impossible. They say Proverbs 31 is simply poetry and it should remain as that.

Call me an idealist, but I believe otherwise. Yes, I'm not married nor do I have children. But, I believe that it is possible to be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman - married or not. What are the characteristics that set apart the Proverbs 31 woman? Taken directly from the above article, a Proverbs 31 woman is characterized by:

1. Her service
2. Her success
3. Her sacrifice
4. Her savvy
5. Her strength
6. Her supremacy
7. Her spirituality

In the article, the author writes that a wife possessing these strengths becomes one in whom her husband is able to confide in and trust. I agree with him. But, I want to add my own variation. I believe that as a single girl, it is possible to strive for and possess these same characteristics. In fact, I believe that working on these strengths as a single girl is the ingredient that makes it possible to be a Proverbs 31 wife in the future.

Young girls often think that marriage is the solution to all their problems. That as soon as they get married, they immediately become godly, wise and loving wives. They believe that things will miraculously fall into place. No more struggles. No more worries. Only love and romance. Sorry ladies, but reality check! If you are not a woman of noble character as a single girl, you will not be a woman of noble character as a married woman. Simple as that.

But you will say, how can I exhibit the strengths of a Proverbs 31 woman if I don't have a husband? How do I serve him, if I don't have a "him?" It's actually not very complicated. Think of all the men in your life. Your dad. Your grandpa. Your pastor. The guy leading your small group. Can you think of ways you can serve them? Be generous to them? Make their life easier? Maybe it's cooking dinner for your dad once a week. Maybe it's taking your grandpa to the doctors (and if you're Russian, translating for him!) Maybe it's clearing the table after a time of small group fellowship. Whatever you do, do it with joy and gladness without drawing attention to yourself. Do it in humility. The thing that sets apart the Proverbs 31 woman from other women is the spirit in which she does her work. Instead of demanding praise for herself, she looks to bring praise to her husband. The really neat thing is that when she does that, her husband comes back and praises her.  Win-win.

So ladies, whether you're single or married, let me encourage you to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. May this be true of you: "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Highlights...

OK, I think I've broken my promise to post something on here every week. I sincerely apologize! I don't have a good excuse except that I've been pretty busy trying to figure out my life.

Here are some highlights from the last two weeks:

A few weeks ago, I got an email from DTS that I'm not qualified to receive any of their scholarships. That came as a hard blow. One of the big reasons I chose to go to seminary in Dallas was because DTS promised scholarships to "most" of their students. Apparently I didn't fit into the "most" criteria so therefore, I was out. Major bummer.

That's when I began exploring all my other grad school and seminary options. I looked into Biola University, Western Seminary, Azusa Pacific, Simpson College, Master's College and even Princeton Seminary. After spending a lot of time browsing through all their websites, attending a Biola dinner, and sitting in on a class at Western, I was back at square one. DTS was still my number one choice.

But, all that searching (and praying!) was not fruitless. I ended up changing my intended field of study from Media and Communication/Worship to Christian Education. And, on top of that, I decided I want to pursue a PhD once I'm done with my Masters. Yes, I realize this is a high and lofty ambition that will take years and years to accomplish, but I figured, hey why not? If I'm going to reach for the stars, might as well aim for the moon! My registration for DTS classes is this Thursday and I can't wait!

Visiting DTS in November last year
Chapel! 
Sitting in on a lecture class
Beautiful campus
The best example of humility... Love this so much!
Preach it!
The pretty DTS bookstore used to be an orthodox church!
Can't wait to go here in 5 months!
Another thing that I'm really excited about is my new role as an administrator/assistant for Missions Worldwide! I recently blogged about one of Mission Worldwide's outreach events, the Citywide Gospel Campaign. It was such a cool event and I'm really glad I got to be a part of it, even if it was a small part. Now, I'll be stepping into a bigger role, helping the guys plan events and just get more organized. The main reason I'm so excited about this new ministry opportunity is because we're already seeing the fruits of our labor. Because of the Citywide Gospel Campaign, there's a small group of people completely from the world who are now attending weekly Bible studies! God is doing His work and it's incredible being in the middle of it!

In other news, I am officially an auntie! My sister gave birth to a healthy, precious little boy 11 days ago. I fell in love with his sweet little face the moment he smiled at me in the hospital. How can anyone resist a face like this? He is going to be so spoiled.

Baby Noah
Auntie Inna holding Noah for the first time
Of course there were a million other things that happened during these past few weeks. But, alas that's it for now.